Pleasing A Woman in Bed
It isn’t difficult to really please your woman in bed and give her great pleasure. If you doubt that, check it out here.
Regard your woman as a work of art – or at least, regard her body as a work of art!
Treat it with as much care as you would a priceless masterpiece. And if you’re experiencing some difficulty pleasing her in bed, then it may be time to identify what’s causing your difficulty and why it’s such a challenge to please her.
To start with you must control your desire to enter her and thrust away till you reach orgasm. That may or may not take you a lot of control, depending on how sophisticated you are as a lover, but I can assure you that the outcome will be more than worth it in terms of the delight and satisfaction that you get. And, of course, the pleasure and satisfaction which your partner gets.
So here are our simple tips as you work your way through the conundrum of femininity that can lead you to euphoric pleasure – and her too.
1 Remember that women are often more emotional and romantic than men.
Which means gross male behavior isn’t attractive to a lot of women. What counts is treating her as though she is something special. That, by the way includes sexual situations. Sure, a woman might want her hair pulled or her ass slapped, but there is a delicate and sensitive way of finding out before you do it.
Before things get hot and sweaty, try a simple display of affection first! Kissing, holding her gently but firmly and caressing her body are likely to arouse her. Being affectionate doesn’t have to lead to sex. In fact, for a woman, being affectionate makes her think that you want more than sex – you want a relationship with the whole woman.
And to her that means romance and love, which will be more than enough to open up her body to you as well as her mind. And when she’s open to you emotionally as well as physically, you’ll both enjoy better sex and get a lot more pleasure from each other in bed.
2 A woman can’t be turned on like a machine
And that’s especially true today, in a world where she has so much on her mind – in fact just as you do, but she probably isn’t as good at mentally putting things down and focusing on sex as you are.
You may well focus more on sex with her than she does about sex on you. When she’s thinking about the kids and dinner and the housework and her jobs, she’s going to need time to decompress before she wants pleasuring. That’s a great reason to make love to her out of bed – long before you get sexual. Be romantic and then, when you do get into bed, just remember to spend loads of time on foreplay.
3 Foreplay is a great way to arouse a woman.
In fact foreplay can be a source of great pleasure in its own right. Oral pleasuring is a way that both of you can enjoy a great deal of sexual pleasure without the stress of intercourse (penetration is no small thing, even when women like and want it!)
For example, you might find that a woman is delighted to pleasure you by giving you oral, either as a beautiful way of arousing you, or as a pleasurable technique in its own right. If so, make sure you pleasure your woman in bed by giving her oral satisfaction if she wants it as well.
In fact, the golden rule here is to be considerate and gentle. If things get a bit more arousing and you feel intercourse might naturally follow, don’t assert yourself too hard to get it. Try and enjoy the simple pleasure of being in bed with her. For a woman, being in bed with a man is a more pleasurable experience when he sensitive to her needs.
By the way – foreplay does not include sending her an unsolicited dick pic.
4 Remember the vagina is not as tough as you might think.
Hang nails, jagged fingernails, and the like are not comfortable to a woman.
5 Kiss, lick, and stroke her – all over the body – and then do it again.
And only when she’s beginning to look like she’s starting to lubricate and starting to get aroused does she want you to head for her vulva, clitoris or vagina.
Think of giving her a massage. For a woman, having a man diving straight in her vagina before she’s aroused can be really uncomfortable. So think of gentle strokes up and down her body, perhaps with oil – like a massage. See which parts of her body respond, and above all don’t treat like the woman in the last porn movie you were watching – unless she’s consented to that.
6 A woman may be unsure what she want sexually until she is being sexual
Video – what do women want in bed?
Women may not know what they want from one session of sex to the next, and sometimes even in the same session of sex from moment to moment.
One good way to find out is to help her explore her own body to find the ways in which she is most likely to get pleasure so that you and she both have an idea of what you need to do to bring her to orgasm.
If she’s shy and retiring, and finds difficulty in sharing this with you, then you can gently ask her as you’re making love. The idea is to find what excites her most, and then to pleasure her in the way that she appreciates most. Keep in mind that your consideration for her well-being will be repaid many times over in her desire to show love and appreciation to you, and make your happiness complete.
7 The clitoris isn’t the only part of a woman’s body that is distinctly pleasurable.
A woman has erogenous zones all over body – just as you do, in fact. That could be her neck, the small of her back, buttocks, and obviously her lips and mouth and breasts.
You need to find out which of these are going to put h your woman into a place of arousal by delicately exploring them and seeing how she responds.
Don’t overlook her G spot either. It is a pleasure point, and in some women stroking it can produce intense orgasms. If your penis curves up, then you want to make love in the man on top position so that the curve of your penis will massage the G spot (which is on the upper wall of her vagina she lies in the back).
If your penis curve downwards, then you might want to make love in the rear entry position so that your penis is more likely to hit her G spot. Whatever position you choose, the idea is to maximize the chance of hitting her G spot and giving a whole-body orgasm.
8 Enjoy oral pleasure.
Some couples absolutely love oral pleasure, but some people only do it because they want to please their partner.
If your woman is having difficulty accepting the idea, try and find out what’s turning her off it. Perhaps an experience in the past has upset her, or maybe she’s not had an experience of oral pleasure in line with her standards or expectations.
Don’t forget that open and honest communication during sex is one of the best ways to achieve mutual pleasure. It’s also a good thing to do anyway, because it brings you closer together and makes you feel more intimate.
So try and be as open and honest as you can with each other, so that she can learn the art of fellatio and you can perfect the art of cunnilingus. That way you both have the maximum chance of bringing each other to pleasure.
These few simple ideas and principles will help you to ensure that a hard to please woman can find real pleasure with you. And if you spend time focused on pleasing her, she will most definitely do the same for you – many times over.
Hints for giving great cunnilingus to a woman.
This is especially useful if you have problems with erectile dysfunction or delayed ejaculation. Start licking somewhere else and teasingly work your way towards her vulva. You could start on her nipples, for example, or lower down her legs, and work your way towards her clitoris bit by bit. When you get nearer, just let your tongue or lips “accidentally” flick lightly over her sensitive areas, perhaps breathing warmly onto them as you pass by so as to give her a taste of what’s to come.
Lick her thighs, moving upwards towards your target slowly, but each time you reach her clitoris, lingering a moment longer to let her savor the experience.
Eventually she’ll begin to move her hips or thrust slightly, a sure sign that she’s ready for closer and more intimate contact.
Take this as your cue to focus your attention on her clitoris, and begin to lick around it, across it, down her labia, up her vulval slit, and into the entrance of her vagina. Keep a rhythm going, to provide consistent stimulation which will help her build towards her orgasm.
Understand her sexual drive varies from day to day.
A woman’s sexual cycle depends on her hormones, which in turn determine how much she desires sex and how sexy she feels. If you’re in a long term relationship, you could keep a chart of her cycle and her sexy periods, so that you know when sex is most likely to happen. But in general, the sexiest times are immediately before and after her period.
Understand what turns her on.
First, she needs to trust you. This not necessarily the same as being relaxed – it means having a perception in her mind that she is safe with you. Clearly, the more intimate you are with each other, the safer she will feel, and the more likely she is to be aroused. You can find out what she likes over time – some of the things will be obvious (romance, skillful lovemaking) but her specific turn-ons may be harder to identify – for example, many women love to see their man ejaculate powerfully, and find it a real turn on. She’s not likely to tell you such things until you know her quite well.
Know that your penis is not your most important sexual orgasm to her – that honor goes to your mind.
Unfortunately, it’s true: while you may adore your penis, and play with it every time you get the chance, she is likely to be much more holistic about sex than you, and she’ll probably be rather amused by your apparent penis-obsession! That doesn’t mean to say she won’t appreciate your penis – it means she will want to hear you say loving things, to feel the touch of your hands on her body, and to sense your love for her – as well as wanting to caress and play with your penis when she’s horny!
Be a bit of a tease.
When something feels good – as judged by her reaction to what you’re doing – back off and try something else. So if you’re licking her clit, say, and you sense she’s getting really aroused, try breaking off and licking her nipples instead. Such interruptions can make her orgasm even better when it finally happens. (Warning: if you try this when she’s too near orgasm, she may not be very pleased.)
Remember that continuous stimulation is necessary for her orgasm.
Unlike you, when she’s getting near orgasm, she will probably just want you to continue stimulating her clitoris at the same pace and pressure. At least, that’s what she’s likely to tell you, but in my experience, when she’s very near the point of orgasm, a little harder and faster stimulation often helps a woman get over the edge. I think what is clear, though, is that when she moans with pleasure in the beginning and middle stages of her arousal, it’s definitely not a signal to you to move your fingers faster and harder!
The other important point to recall is that if you stop stimulating her when she goes into her orgasm, she will stop coming. The process isn’t like the male orgasm and ejaculation, where, once it’s started, you can’t stop it. For her, clitoral or G-spot stimulation all the way through her orgasm is needed to keep her pleasure going.
Your penis can be used to play with her clitoris.
Of course you’ll want to stimulate her clitoris with your fingers, and probably your tongue, but don’t forget that you can also use your erect penis to gently bang (not bang, just tap, really) her clitoris and vulva. She’s likely to find this very exciting.
Anal play needs a little bit of thoughtful planning.
You may be more into this than she is, or vice versa, but in either case there’s a good way to get around any reservations you may have about the hygiene issues. Simply use a latex glove to cover your finger, lube it well, then finger her anus until you or she wants more action in her vagina, at which point remove the glove in one swift movement and discard it!
Or, if you’re into penile penetration, cover your penis with a condom, then remove it once you’re both anally satisfied and you can then either switch to condomless sex or put another condom on to enjoy the penis-in-her-vagina routine! There are many sexual positions for anal sex which you can see here.
Get some technique before you play with her clitoris!
As you may already know, her clitoris is a lot more sensitive than your penis. At least, it ought to be! It has twice as many nerve endings in a fraction of the area of your glans, so it can’t really take much direct stimulation until she’s pretty aroused. Though she’ll soon tell you if you get this wrong, the way to avoid being too intense too soon in your lovemaking is to circle her clit with your fingers, and alternate periods of this movement with periods of running your fingers up and down her labia or her vulval opening, teasing with your fingertips just inside the opening of her vagina.
Lubrication is essential to making clitoral play a success – your saliva is very adequate for this purpose, though you’ll need to keep adding more. Eventually, you can slip a finger inside her, though if she doesn’t respond to this, or her vagina isn’t well-lubricated, you may be jumping the gun, and need to give her a bit more clitoral pleasure before you go back in.
Tact is essential here. There’s no reason to say anything about her body in a way which might hurt her, and though some women are very matter-of-fact about it, others can be shamed by being told that they could be fresher in the vaginal department. You can always get around this by asking her to join you in the shower making a point of soaping your penis and balls, while telling her that you are doing so in order to be as fresh as possible for her pleasure! She’ll soon get the message.
Strawberry sex
And of course it doesn’t have to be a strawberry. You can put slices of fruit in or on your partner and enjoy the extremely erotic sensation of eating it off her body. If she’s willing, try eating it out of her vagina.
Beach sex
If you’re on a secluded beach, you might want to try woman on top sex, perhaps with a sarong or towel to hide the most explicit parts of the act.
Sensuous baths
She’ll love you for preparing a sensuous bath with aromatherapy oil like Ylang-Ylang, a very sexy perfume for a woman. While she lies in her warm, oily, candle-lit bath like a queen, massage her feet gently and sensuously, to delight her senses and give her a taste of the erotic pleasures to come. (Such as, perhaps, oral sex and body massage.)
Two nipples are sexier than one!
If you’re giving her pleasure on her breasts, such as when you’re teasing her nipples for a long time during foreplay, remember that her pleasure will be greatly increased if you stimulate them both at once: one with your tongue and one with your fingers.